How to help your children concentrate on studying

At first glance, “warm weather” and “school” might seem like two unrelated concepts. But for most parents, their combination is anything but irrelevant—it’s a recipe for daily struggles and a fair share of headaches.

If you’re a parent of a child in elementary school or beyond, chances are you’ve faced the challenge of convincing your kids to pause their outdoor adventures—biking, playing with friends, or just soaking up the sun—to focus on their homework. And let’s be honest, it’s not easy.

There’s no denying the joy that spring brings. For those of us living in Canada, spring is even more cherished after five long months of snow and sub-zero temperatures.

As parents, we’re genuinely thrilled to see our kids finally enjoying the outdoors—riding bikes, exploring parks, fishing, getting messy in the sand, and simply laughing with friends. These days, I find myself smiling as I watch my children play outside with their neighborhood classmates, their faces glowing with sun and happiness.

But school isn’t over yet, and homework still looms. My two older children, now in sixth and third grade, are focused and consistent students. Yet, during the spring and early summer months, getting them to take a break from playing and sit down to study becomes twenty times harder. After all, they just 11 and 9 years old, bursting with energy and an unstoppable urge to play, play, play.

So, what can we do to convince our kids to study, especially in the springtime?

Unfortunately, there’s no magic formula for getting kids to study—especially when the sun is shining and the outdoors are calling. It’s easy for parents to lose their patience, but here’s the truth: yelling or demanding that your child study rarely works. In fact, it’s almost guaranteed to backfire.

The most effective approach is rooted in patience, empathy, and a genuine understanding of your child’s emotions. Avoid ultimatums like, “If you don’t go to your room and study right now, you’re not leaving the house for two days.” While it might be the first thing that comes to mind, this kind of threat often leads to frustration, resistance, and a flood of negative emotions.

Instead, try speaking to your child as you would to a thoughtful, capable person. Use a calm but firm tone and show them that you understand how they feel. Once they feel heard and validated, you can move into a more collaborative conversation.

For example, you might say:“Wow, the weather is amazing today—it makes total sense that you want to be outside. If I were your age, I’d feel the same way. So how about this: you spend just 30 minutes finishing your homework now, and then the rest of the afternoon is all yours to play and enjoy?”

This kind of approach not only respects their feelings but also teaches them valuable skills in time management and negotiation.

It’s also important to help your child feel responsible for their own learning. For example, you might say:“In your last exam, you had a few mistakes with fractions. I’m confident that with just a bit more practice, you’ll fully understand them. You’re really smart, and I know it won’t take much—just a little focus. So, what do you think you could do to improve?”

This kind of approach empowers your child. It shifts the motivation from external pressure to internal awareness. They begin to study not because they’re being told to, but because they recognize the value in doing so themselves.

And of course, once they’ve completed their work, it’s important to acknowledge their effort. Praise them sincerely, let them know you’re proud. Then, reward them with something they enjoy: time outside, a favorite snack, a bit of screen time. These small gestures reinforce a positive connection between responsibility and reward, helping them feel capable, valued, and motivated.

Every time I directly told my son to go study, it ended in frustration. I’d have to repeat myself over and over—each time a little louder (you know what I mean)—and by the time he finally made it to his room (with my vocal cords nearly destroyed), he’d do everything but study.

On the other hand, when I guide him to take the initiative himself—by appealing to his sense of responsibility and encouraging him to create his own schedule—the results are completely different. Not only does he perform better, but he also feels proud of his efforts. His confidence grows, and next time, he’s more willing to include studying in his plans. And of course, I make sure to tell him how proud I am of him.

Does this method work every time? No. But it’s the best chance we have. It might not yield results immediately, but with patience and compassion, it will eventually make a difference. Remember: the way we treat our children shapes how they will treat themselves in the future.

We play a major role in building their self-esteem. So instead of yelling or threatening, it’s far more effective to make them feel loved, respected, and heard. Acknowledge their needs, listen to their voice, and help them express their emotions. When children feel emotionally safe and supported, they’re more likely to try harder—not just in school, but in all areas of life—because they enjoy the positive emotional experience that comes from being understood and loved.

Value your children’s personalities, and they will learn to value themselves.

Love, Katerina