Should We Feel Guilty for Hiring a Babysitter?

Hey there valuable mamas!

Let’s talk about the G-word. No, not glitter (though that’s a close second for chaos). I’m talking about guilt—that sneaky emotion that creeps in the moment we even think about hiring a babysitter.

You know the drill: You’ve been running on caffeine and cuddles for weeks, you finally score a dinner reservation at that place with actual cloth napkins, and just as you’re about to confirm the sitter… BAM. Guilt. Are you abandoning your child? Are you selfish for wanting a break? Are you a bad parent?

Let’s take a deep breath and unpack this.

You’re Not a One-Person Village

There’s a reason the saying goes, “It takes a village to raise a child.” That village? It includes babysitters. Whether it’s a trusted teen from next door, a grandparent, or a professional caregiver, babysitters are part of the support system that helps families thrive.

We often carry the weight of trying to do it all—be the nurturer, the chef, the chauffeur, the entertainer, and the emotional anchor. But here’s the truth: you were never meant to do this alone. Hiring help doesn’t mean you’re shirking responsibility—it means you’re wise enough to know that rested, recharged parents are better parents. When you take care of yourself, you show up more present, more patient, and more joyful for your child.

Guilt Is a Sign You Care—Not That You’re Wrong

Let’s be honest: guilt is practically stitched into the modern parenting handbook. But here’s a reframe—feeling guilty often means you care deeply. That’s not a flaw; it’s a sign of love.

Still, guilt shouldn’t be the compass guiding your decisions. Instead, ask yourself: Is my child safe? Loved? Cared for? If the answer is yes, then you’re doing just fine. Guilt may knock on your door, but you don’t have to invite it in for tea.

Babysitters Bring More Than Just Supervision

A great babysitter isn’t just someone who keeps your child alive while you’re out. They’re often creative playmates, patient listeners, and even role models. They bring fresh energy, new games, and a different dynamic that can be enriching for your child.

And while they’re building forts or reading bedtime stories, you get to reconnect with yourself. You get to be something other than “Mom” or “Dad” for a little while—and that’s not just okay, it’s healthy.

Self-Care Isn’t Selfish—It’s Survival

Parenting is beautiful, but let’s not sugarcoat it—it’s also relentless. The mental load, the emotional labor, the physical exhaustion—it adds up. Taking time for yourself isn’t indulgent. It’s essential.

Whether it’s a quiet coffee, a workout, or a night out, you deserve moments that are just for you. Hiring a babysitter is one way to make that space possible. And when you return, you’ll likely find yourself more grounded and more grateful.

And What If Our Own Husband Disagrees and Makes Us Feel Guilty?

Ah, the plot twist. It’s one thing to wrestle with our own guilt—but what happens when it’s coming from someone we love? If your partner questions the need for a babysitter or makes you feel guilty for hiring one, it can feel like a double punch to the gut.

But parenting is a team sport, and teams thrive on communication, not judgment. It’s okay to say, “I need this. Not because I don’t love our child, but because I also need to take care of myself.” Sometimes, our partners carry their own beliefs or fears about parenting roles. A gentle, honest conversation can go a long way. Advocating for your well-being isn’t selfish—it’s modeling healthy boundaries for your entire family.

In the End of the Day…

Parenting is a marathon, not a sprint. And even marathon runners have water breaks.

So go ahead—book the sitter. Enjoy your evening. And remember: you’re not just allowed to take a break—you deserve it.

Take care, Katerina